Why?

So much to say, and so little time. 

Let me start by saying that this blog includes everything from my daily struggles as being a single mom to a 3 year old boy to my struggle of finding a boy (man) to date/settle down with and my struggle of living in an apartment below crazy people.

I am now 30.  My younger sister is married and has a 1 year old daughter.  I feel like I am kinda slackin in the find a man department.  Half of me wants to be in a relationship and the other half of me is okay with the way things are.  I do feel bad for my son that he doesn't have a full time dad in his life, heck, he doesn't even have a half time dad.  So, I end up playing the role of mommy and daddy.  It is a LOT of work, let me tell ya.  I am not an athletic girl and yet lately I have been asked to play football, basketball, soccer, baseball, etc.

I finally just got my 3 year old boy to sleep an hour ago and had a wee bit of me time.  It got me thinking that I need some sort of way to vent my frustrations.  I love my son,. I do, but tonight I was ready to sell him to the circus.  I swear to the big G that if he asks "why?" one more time I might scream.  I don't mind answering questions like "why are the leaves falling off the tree", but when I constantly hear "why?" after I ask him to do something like eat his dinner I feel like I might just explode through the roof.  I have always said that I want my son to feel open to coming to me with any questions, but when those questions become repetitive within 5 minutes it kinda drives me nuts.  For instance, today I found a cute shelf for his bedroom on craigslist so I told him we were going to Anderson to pick it up.  As soon as we get in the car he says "let's take the country road"  I tell him that we can't take the country road because it doesn't go to Anderson.  His response "NOOOO!"  Seriously a shrieking scream at me.  I calmly reply that we have to take the freeway because that is the road that goes to Anderson.  When we get to the stop light to turn to the freeway he asks me if we are going to turn right.  I tell him no.  He screams "YEEEEESSSSS!"  I had been listening to this yelling all day so I decided to just be silent and see if he would do the same.  Nope.  As soon as I get on the freeway he starts in with a hundred questions.  "Where are we going?" "You see that truck?" "Are we in Anderson yet?"  "Is that grandmas exit?" "Where are we?"  "Why don't you go on that road?"  "Can we get french fries?"  "Is this Anderson?"  "What's that over there?"  "Do you know where my Day of the Diesels movie is?"  "Where are we going?"  "Are we in Anderson now?" 

I thought that it was just a curious 3 year old wanting to know more about the world, but last week a friends 13 year old daughter was over and started asking me a hundred questions.  I have a feeling that this questions and answer thing will be going on for a LOOOOOONG time. 

When we got home from Anderson my son kept asking me if we could make Christmas cookies so that he could use the cookie cutters his grandma gave him.  I was trying to finish a project for one of my college classes so I told him that we could when I was done.  I finally had time to start making cookies around 7pm.  I had never made sugar cookies before but I am always willing to try new recipes.  So he and I start prepping the ingredients.  As we are getting the goods out he keeps asking if he can have a cookie yet.  I tell him that we have to cook that first so it will take awhile.  He is very disappointed.  So we start mixing the flour and the salt and the baking powder.  While he is stirring these things he asks me if he can eat the cookies now.  I let him know that they still need to bake after we get everything mixed.  He gets bored with the preparation so I continue stirring and mixing.  Then I read in the cookbook that we have to let this dough cool for at least an hour in the fridge before we can roll it out to use the cookies cutters.  This is not okay with him.  He wants cookies NOW.   I finish mixing the sugar cookie dough and I let him now that it has to go in the fridge until tomorrow (because it is already 8 pm so there wont be time to do all the fun stuff).  He is so upset because he thought that he was going to be able to have a cookie tonight.  Maybe I shouldn't give in so easy, but I tell him that we will make a different kind that will be ready faster.  That answer satisfies him so I get to work preparing dough for Ginger Snaps.  A half hour later the boy is finally satisfied. 




Deep Breath.